We have all been there before, a kid who is trying to act and be treated like an adult. Some child who is throwing tantrums everywhere to get our parents’ attention. If we crave unhealthy food, so what? We have to get it, if we want to sleep in the middle of the night, what’s the harm in that? This is why we yelled at our parents disrespectfully, not understanding why they wouldn’t let us do what we enjoy the most?
As we grew older, we understood that junk food made us fat, absorbed the energy out of us, and left us with many diseases that we can’t even spell right. We know that when we don’t get enough sleep, our day becomes a nightmare! We got that our parents were not just teasing us about this stuff, they just knew better!
After that, we became the parents who are facing the same problems that our parents had with us. But, with a generation that is much more complicated than ours, the mission is not as easy as it sounds. This generation is smarter, stronger, and more aware, this is why it’s harder for our generation as parents to handle Gen-Z that our kids belong to.
And in order for us to differentiate between a hard-to-please kid, and a kid with Oppositional defiant disorder (ODD), you need to understand what is it, and what is its symptoms.
What is Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)?
One of the most common behavior disorders that appears to get children and makes them uncooperative, defiant, and hostile towards authority figures like teachers and parents, as well as his/her peers.
What are the symptoms of ODD?
- Easy to turn their anger on.
- Getting tantrums frequently.
- Refusing to obey orders from parents & teachers.
- Tends to revenge, envy, and hurting others.
- Blame others for their own mistakes.
When to See the Doctor?
When you notice your kid having the previous symptoms heavily, then you have to take the first step by seeing a children’s therapist, or visit a behavior-shifting specialist. This step will help you and your kid start a positive step in your life as a family, seeing hope for a time where all of you are calm and understanding.
Why do kids love to be stubborn?
There are some psychological reasons, others are some inherited genes that are hard to manage. Behavior psychologists have shown that some of our children’s bad behavior tends to have a reason behind it, and some of these reasons are:
- A Cry for Attention: If you are not spending enough time with your kids, the only way for them to grab your attention is to scream, be stubborn, and get into tantrums. This is why you should spend more quality time with your kid to compensate.
- Domestic Violence: If your kid became a bully, this is real proof that your kid is facing violence at home. All these behaviors backlash at your kids turning them into deformed human beings.
- Being Bullied: A loner kid who tends to be on their own lately is a kid who is probably being bullied at school. And in order for you to know what is going on with your kid’s life is to dedicate some quality time together.
- Your Kids Are Mimicking You: Maybe you are stubborn too! Kids consider you their hero, a role model that they mimic and look up to. This is why you have to monitor your actions since what you do is what they consider the norm, if you yell, they will yell, if you have tantrums, here you go, they will have too!
How to Ground Your Kid in a Healthy Way?
Nobody likes to be grounded, but the philosophy behind grounding is to make your kid understand that every action has a reaction, and there is no way out of not making mistakes since we are human. We all make mistakes, but grounding makes us realize that everything has limits and if we break something, it’s our duty to fix it.
But, some parents overlook that grounding could backlash into an abuse that accompanies your kid till he becomes a grown up. This is why you need to ground your kids in a healthy way that does not include hurting them physically or psychologically. Here are some ideas for a balanced, healthy grounding:
The Naughty Chair: A specific corner or a chair in the house, known for being the place where your kid gets grounded. He or she sits there for a specific period of time to think about what they have done. The idea of the naughty chair helps your kid feel the guilt about what went wrong.
Taking Away Their Toys: Banning them from using their favorite toys, their tablet, their available time for screening or anything they love to have. This move will teach them to watch the consequences of their actions.
More House Chores: In addition to their daily chores, you can add more for them as a grounding move, so they know that whenever they make a mistake there will be boring chores waiting for them to do.