Children are just like radars, they spot everything around them in silence, and they watch every movement, every humming, and every word their parents are saying. They are absorbing all their qualities, looks, and tiny actions. Most parents tend to forget that they are the first reflection their kids see. Parents nowadays only care about finding the perfect school or applying the best parenting advice, instead of being the right role model to their children. So, instead of teaching them how to treat the elderly, they just need to treat their own parents, the children’s grandparents, in a great way, that way they will naturally know how to do it.
The Importance of Having a Role Model for Children
Studies have shown that the early years of childhood are the most vital ones in their whole life. At that time, children seek a role model to deal with, imitate daily, and mirror. This is why mothers in particular are the ones who affect children the most since she is the one spending much time with them. During these times children feel safe with their everyday caregiver, they see life through their eyes, watching every move, and recording every action.
How to Be a Role Model for My Children?
Before we became parents we had free will, now, we’re just people who are trying to be good role models, and since we are human beings, after all, we still have our own flaws. And hiding these flaws and sending them away when around children is not an easy task indeed. We only bare to do it because we are certain that our children are going to absorb what we give them; the whole responsibility lies on our shoulders.
- Don’t lie in front of them: Children don’t get what we call “White Lies”, a lie is a lie to them no matter what color it is! The moment your child notices that you lie is the moment they think they can do it too. And don’t you underestimate your child, they monitor every interaction, so it doesn’t have to be a situation where they are involved, it could be you saying to your friend on the phone that you can’t make it because you’re sick when you are not! Children are smarter than we think, so monitor your own actions around them.
- Keep Your Promises: The moment you don’t keep your promises with your children is the moment they lose faith in the world. You might think that this is a little bit overdramatic, but it’s true. Since at this age you are the world to your child so it’s normal for them to be that emotionally attached to you and your actions. You are such superheroes to them, and what superhero lies and breaks their promises? Building trust between you and your children could take years, but destroying it only takes one wrong turn. So, in order for you to keep their promises to your child, don’t ever make one when you’re happy with them or extremely proud. Also, don’t make a promise that limits your financial capabilities, or requires spending some quality time that you don’t own at the moment.
- Be What Ever You Want Your Children to Be: In case you want to raise a religious child, for example, all you need to be is simply religious parents. The only way to plant a trait in them is to be it. How would they learn to be productive, if you are sleeping all day? How would they learn to say sorry when they make a mistake, when you never apologize?
- Master The Art of Disagreeing: Unlike what we have heard and exposed to before regarding how to manage our fights as parents in front of our children, avoiding doing it in front of them is not the answer! When children think that disagreement doesn’t even happen and then meet it in real life afterward, they will be terrified and confused. But, if they see their parents fight in a civilized way they will learn how to discuss their issues with the people around them, and how to disagree with someone politely. An important note for all parents out there is to acknowledge the importance of making up in front of the children as well.