Raising children is not an easy job! It requires tremendous effort, attention, patience, calmness, and anger management; giving them a healthy upbringing and a healthy relationship between you and your child is not easy! But if it turns out to deal with a stubborn and difficult child, here comes the challenge! Here are some tips for dealing with your stubborn child and how to modify his behavior for the better in practical ways.
But first you should know the characteristics of aggressive behavior
Behavioral changes in children from 3 years until adolescence tend to make them more nervous and irritable, especially if you do not give them what they want.
Forms of aggressive child’s behavior: Self harm, isolation by watching TV or playing video games, does not accept rejection, cannot stand the word (no), constantly defends himself and does not care what others say, and he always feels persecuted and rejected.
To address these characteristics, you must identify their causes:
Children usually act with these behaviors to express a struggle they are facing, which might be:
- Jealousy of a newborn,
- Parents favoring siblings,
- Changing their routine by moving to a new city or a new school, being bullied at school,
- A reaction to aggressive behavior from the father or mother, such as being abused or insulted,
- A buildup of negative emotions making him behave aggressively, such as fear, anxiety, loss of self-confidence, or a sense of injustice.
- An aggressive child’s behavior does not only harm the child himself but also negatively influences the whole family. But suppose you address this behavior with physical abuse, punishment, imprisonment, and violence. In that case, you should know that these methods will not improve your child’s behavior! But on the contrary, it will complicate the matter and make him grow up with emotional damage that affects his ability to coexist and deal with society.
Here’s how you can change these behaviors
Communicate
Our children need to connect with us in a safe and comfortable space without fear of blame and judgment.
Pent-up feelings are the first cause of anger and rejection. Give your child the freedom to express his thoughts and feelings, and make him feel loved and appreciated every day; be his haven that he can turn to in times of sadness, weakness, and anxiety without letting him down or blocking him.
Containment
Our children feel everything around them. Words affect how they feel, and how they see themselves. But they do not have control over these feelings, so you have to embrace your child’s feelings, treat it, and explain them to him so that he can deal with his feelings properly and non-aggressively.
Correction of concepts
Deep-rooted beliefs in a child’s mind can make him act aggressively and forcefully, such as his belief that his parents do not love him as much as they love his siblings to be loved. To fix this, you must work to correct these beliefs by avoiding segregation between siblings, especially the newborn, and encouraging words that increase his sense of himself and his importance.
Help him to unload his anger.
One of the leading causes of aggressive behavior is the child’s hidden feeling of anger due to accumulated situations. Support him to overcome the anger by playing sports with exciting movements and interaction, like kickboxing, running, and dancing, or try playing music, drawing, or writing, and practicing meditation and breathing exercises that help him focus.
physical touch
Please do not be shy about hugging your child and offering him caring touches, especially at the time of anger. Kind and caring touches to your child play a significant role in forming his positive behavior. As it encourages healthier emotional growth of young children.
Encourage new positive behaviors.
Avoid bargaining and deprivation strategies. Instead, highlight, encourage, and reward positive behaviors with things your child likes, rewards that make him feel happier, better, and excited to give more positive attributes such as his favorite meal or spending the day somewhere he is eager to visit.
Control your reactions
Pay attention to your reactions in times of difficulties; if you constantly exaggerate, yell, and beat him up, by time your child will get used to these behaviors. They will not be effective in preventing his aggressive behavior. But on the contrary, you will motivate him to vend in the same way. The best thing to do when your kid acts up is to be calm and avoid shouting at him; decide on an appropriate punishment at the moment, not later, but in a way that the child understands and does not feel persecuted towards him, but rather a reaction that makes him understand the extent of his mistakes to avoid it.
Watch your actions
Children are a mirror of their parents. So, avoid showing these habits to your children and be careful because actions are always stronger than words. If you behave badly, nervous, loud, or even verbally offensively with your partner, at work, or with family members, make sure your child will apply these behaviors, practice them, and deal with you in the same way.
Create rules for the family to follow
Write a short list of essential rules and behaviors, discuss these rules with your child, and make sure they accept it. Make sure that these rules include controlling your child’s negative behaviors and regulations for safety, health, and how to interact with others.
Don’t set too many rules; the fewer rules there are, the less potential for violations you may have to deal with. This list narrows down destructive behaviors and increases positive ones.
Ask for help
The reason behind your child’s irregular behavior may be psychological causes such as Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) or Autism, or it can be due to psychological trauma he has been exposed to; and in any case, seek help and consult a specialist psychiatrist who will help you to modify behavior more effectively and safely.
Finally, remember, there is no perfect behavior for children! All children need correction, guidance, and discipline, so you need to be patient and shower your child with love, support, and sympathy at all times.