Symptoms of lack of Self-Confidence
Firstly, you need to spot that the child is shy and lacks self-confidence. Knowing the problem will help to work on develop a child self-confidence.
The shy child is an introvert.; avoids crowds, social events, and gatherings. Sitting beside you is a favorite hiding place.
Being not self-confident, the child will leave his tasks incomplete. This is not due to boredom, but because your child is not willing to hear any kind of criticism; even though the work could be really good. This applies to both formal tasks such as school homework and informal like drawing or a song!
A negative impression of his/her character will always prevent a normal consistent performance. The self-talk will be destructive most of the time “I cannot do this” “I am not good enough” “everyone is better than me”.
If your child is always looking for “validation” from someone else and dependent on others, this is another sign of a lack of self-confidence. This symptom could be very harmful in case of the child is looking up to a bad company of friends.
Avoid common mistakes
Part of helping Develop a child self-confidence is to avoid some common mistakes committed by many parents.
The classic mistake is to put your child in comparison with his peers, relatives, or brothers and sisters. Parents need to be aware that each child is unique and talented in his own way. The comparison for some parents is seen as a motivational technique while it makes the child feels bad and destroys his self-esteem. The results will be exactly the opposite.
Another error is the use of superlatives. The language commonly used by some parents is revolving around “I want you to be faster”, “……better….”, “…higher…”. Indulging your child in a virtual competition is very destructive to his self-esteem. Again, your child is unique and learning at his own pace. Do not push, please.
This superlative formula appears in the way the school and home deal with the child’s feeling of permanent failure and makes him always in a state of alert to catch up with an imaginary race that has the closest people to him: parents and teachers!
Perpetual criticism goes against raising a self-confident child. This behavior makes the child reluctant to do anything to avoid hearing your words. Parents do not need to feel that they have a say in everything the child says or does. It is very wise to just watch and do not comment at all when it comes to a child’s task, activity, or even behavior. Try not to comment, your child will come and ask you in a very spontaneous way.
In addition to these reasons, it turns to other studies in genetics, health, and the surrounding children, the situation may turn into consulting a doctor specializing in child psychiatry.
Easy tips and guidelines
First and before all, trust yourself. Your child is mimicking you. Take good control of how you handle your own problems, being a confident parent is a key factor to raise a self-confident child.
Listen carefully and empathize
Listen and listen and listen again. This is always a bit of advice that never fails. It is important to understand and empathize with your child. Focus on his words, motivations, and even his/her excuses. Giving him the chance to talk supports his self-expression skills and develops his self-esteem.
No competitions
Knowing your child’s capabilities will make it easier for you not to compare him/her to anyone. Choose the tasks/activities that suit his skills and talents. Study his preferences and interests. The self-esteem of a child is related to his own uniqueness, always remember this.
Embrace taking risks
Failure is a part of life and a great way of learning. Encourage your child to take risks while offering unconditional support regardless of the end results. In case of failure, children should understand that it is totally fine to try again and do better next time.
Encourage independence
Never do the work on your child’s behalf! This includes the decision-making process. Let the child choose the outfit, the sports activity, and his food. These increases develop a child self-confidence since the empowerment feeds his self-esteem.
Pay attention to praise
Praise and positive feedback are two of the most common techniques kids measure their worth. The more you praise the higher your child’s self-esteem is. It is very important to highlight that praise from the parents is the most precious feedback a kid can hear.
It is also notable to say that empty praise will drive the child to develop a false sense of validation. Your praise should be sincere and true to the situation. Your child is smart enough to detect a false “well done”.
You are the best playmate for your child
Do your best to afford some quality time to “play”. Just play. No serious tasks, getting outdoors, or watching a movie, and playing football. This is how you show your child they are valuable and worthy of your time. And when your child feels valued and supported, they are even more and more confident.
Social activities
Indulge your child into social activities of her/his own choice. Music class, drawing, or sports activities are all good to help your child to mingle with others. Moreover, talk to the admins/teachers about the special case of your child; they will be ready to help you monitor the case closely. No problem to accompany your child for some time till the confidence is gained gradually.
Love…love. Love
Lastly, unconditional love is the magic word. Emotions keep the child warm and protected. Therefore, Hugging, cuddling, and kissing are also crucial to the success of developing your child’s self-confidence.
The output is bringing up a confident human being who is up to the challenges of the modern ages that are reflected in both his personal and professional life.
Big role for the school
The parents will need the support of the school. Develop a child self-confidence requires the assistance of an institution that possesses professional capabilities and a qualified human cadre.
Leadership skills are the ultimate output of self-esteem that is being developed gradually.
Rowad Alkhaleej International Schools is offering a “The leader in me” program that supports the self-esteem concept and takes it to its highest level. It prepares the students to lead in the future while focusing on developing their skills.